Monday, 25 July 2011

ShadowPlay's problem page with Piney Gir: Part Two

The second part of our Agony Aunt Piney Gir’s helping advice corner features horticultural quizzing and a person in a genital pickle…

Dear Piney Gir
Last night I googled "what is the origin of the phrase shaking like a leaf?" The first three returns didn't give me the answer. Can you find it for me?
Tom Whalley, Holloway
Dear Tom,
I think the answer is that a leaf shakes quite a lot as it's only lightly anchored to the tree by a little stem and when the wind blows the leaves really go for it like it's part-time. I hope that answers your question.
Piney x
Dear Piney,
I’ve been a post-op transsexual for several years now, but I’m a bit fed up and would like my manhood back. Is it easily reversible?
Adam, London
Dear Adam,
Suffering is a relative thing. Did you find the first time you had the sex-change procedure easy or difficult? You are likely to experience a similar level of pain the second time around. However, if being a man trapped in a post-op transsexual’s body is generating mental torture and anguish for you, then remember that physical pain is temporary, sexual transformation is forever (or in this case for as long as you want it to be). You might want to consult a nice therapist before you go for another great big change though. Try this place; they charge you according to your income so you can afford it!
Piney x
Dear Piney,
I’m addicted to wearing stripes but fear I may get piegonhold as a stripe-wearer – what do you advise?
Dear Anonymous,
I kind of think it’s not such a bad thing to be known for. If you are really concerned about being known as ‘Stripes’ or ‘Stripeytime Tennessee’ or ‘Stripe-o McGee’ then give all your striped items to the charity shop and start again sans stripes. OR you could draw contrasting stripes over the existing stripes on your clothes and you could be ‘Checkers Checkofferston’ for a while. If that doesn’t appeal, try taking up a new hobby where stripes are encouraged. Have you ever considered miming?
Piney x

1 comment:

  1. Dear Piney, I think I may be addicted to watching the Lucky Me video. Is there any kind of counseling or help available for such an addiction?? x